There has long been a conspiracy by the ICC (International Cricket Council) to cover up the fact that cricket was originally played without any bowling and either in swimwear or completely in the buff. The Chus Martinez Sadomasochistic Cricket League exists to restore the game to its original glory and prevent its obliteration by those who’ve transformed it into the most boring sport in the world.
In sadomasochistic cricket the players from one team take it in turns to hold the stumps and have to try to keep still as the batters from the other side paddle their arse with the bat. Each fielder is declared out when they’ve squirmed so much that the balls at the top of the stumps are shaken off or they’ve let go of the stumps with either of their hands (or both of them). The number of strokes each fielder receives before being declared out is carefully counted and the winning team is the one that numerically by hits has taken the most punishment.
The batting team are known as the tops, and those fielding are called bottoms. The batting team may change their hitters whenever they want but in practice it is usually thought most effective to allow one member of the top team to paddle away until a bottom is out. The top team may also goose the arse of a fielder (but only when wearing gloves), the sudden and unexpected switch from pain to playful stimulation may surprise the fielder and cause him or her to let go of the stumps.
Photos Chus Martinez and friends warming up for a game of sadomasochistic cricket.
3 Responses to Chus Martinez Sadomasochistic Cricket League
Chus Martinez | September 10, 2012 at 1:05 am Don’t you think it odd that both the International Cricket Council and the International Communist Current are known as the ICC? Coincidence? Unlikely!
Chus Martinez – Travailleuse Psychique et Data Miner | September 10, 2012 at 5:22 am cut the balls out of cricket! interactive cunt and coxk xchus http://destroydocumenta.blogspot.co.uk/
chusmartinezproject | September 10, 2012 at 3:09 pm More evidence that the transsexual collective phantom Chus Martinez is everywhere! And I think Chus Martinez (both manifestations of them on this thread so far) is onto something with these comments….BTW have either of you noticed that the International Communist Coven is also known by the initials ICC – there is definitely some sort of witchcraft going on here!